So one of Lady Sensory’s friends (her blog is over here) decided to start a book club this past week. We are more excited than Rebecca Black on a Friday about our summer reading. The first book selected for the club was Fifty Shades of Grey, by E L James. I picked it up on Monday and finished it Wednesday night. I basically read it in two nights because I don’t count the one where I fell asleep reading it. Yes. I am one of the few women on the planet falling in the age demographic for “mommy porn” who did not enjoy this book. As I suspected, this book annoyed the crap out of my inner feminist. Or perhaps I should refer to her as my “inner goddess?”
Now, don’t get me wrong, my annoyance is not with the kinky BDSM sex scenes in the book. In fact, those scenes are probably the most entertaining (bordering on comical) parts. Despite that the book is a New York Times #1 bestseller, it’s just not very well-written. I worry that it also sends the wrong message: that a woman (Anastasia Steele) could possibly change a psychologically damaging, abusive, controlling, dangerous man (Christian Grey) by loving him. However, she’s equally to blame because in her delusional world, she thinks she is “special enough” to change him. When I think of the women who will stay in bad relationships because of this kind of fantasy, it makes me a little sick to my stomach. And yet, I suppose the fantasy is what people like about it. I guess if this alleged “mommy porn” spices up someone’s sex life, then so be it. So in the famous words of Devo, “Whip it good!”
Enough with my rant. I’ve got a better idea for you if you get suckered into reading this book, or worse, all three in the trilogy. It’s a Fifty Shades of Grey inspired game, starring my new favorite wine:
Apropos, no? If you are not into delicious Cabernet Sauvignon, then please feel free to select your beverage of choice. But if you like a good steak on the grill in the summer, you may want to give this Freakshow a whirl.
50 Shades of Grey Goose: The Drinking Game
Put the following words/phrases on slips of paper and put them in a hat. True to spirit, I’d recommend one with Viking horns because I imagine Christian Grey would find something useful to do with them. Select two or three chapters of the book to read aloud and pick someone with dramatic flair who also can keep straight face while reading. I’m willing to bet that all words on this list are covered within a randomized selection of three chapters. Collect everyone’s keys to add suspense. They’ll think they’re at some kind of swinger/swap party but the reality is: they are likely to get really drunk playing this and may need to sleep over. If you’re not into booze you can make this a pathetic and creepy attempt at a scavenger hunt. Good luck with that.
Dominant – this one is mandatory because whoever draws this word gets to determine everyone else’s drinking “punishment” when their word is read.
Sub or Submissive – I recommend this person acquire sub sandwiches if this is a scavenger hunt. Just reading about all this sex made me hungry.
Breath hitching – any reference
Foil or foil packet
Fifty shades – or any numerical reference to shades
Convulse (or some variant)
Genital clamps – yeah, the poor bastard who draws this one gets a free pass for the whole game. Seriously.
Now, was it good for you?